Loving Deep: Steele Ridge Series Read online

  “You couldn’t have known a mama bear and her cub would happen by my location. Had I remained still, she might have passed me by, just like her cub.” She tunneled her fingers into his clenched fist. “This wasn’t your fault. Sometimes bad things happen. We’re both alive and mobile. Focus on that fact.”

  He placed two fingers beneath her chin. “Your pupils are slightly dilated. I think you’re in more pain than you let on.”

  “I’ll take some ibuprofen at the first opportunity. Until then, let’s get to your wolves.”

  He kissed her. A soft, possessive, slow kiss, before setting off again. Randi’s heartbeat stormed inside her chest, and her pulse hammered against her already pounding temples.

  When Britt had tried to redirect the mama bear’s attention away from her, Randi’s fear had trebled. No one had ever put her life above their own before. She was humbled and confused and turned on. He’d been fierce but calm. Strong and sure. Like her very own superhero.

  A wave of dizziness hit, and she stretched her hands out for balance. She swallowed back the bile that rose in her throat and focused on Britt’s back, on staying upright, staying lucid. For both their sakes, she hoped Britt found a kiddie hill for them to climb rather than a black diamond.

  She dug into her rucksack for her sunglasses, even though the sun hadn’t burned off all the fog yet. They helped reduce the light and, therefore, the pain.

  It took another thirty minutes before he found a place for them to ascend with minimal physical effort. By the time they made it to the top, they both heaved great lungfuls of air.

  He studied their surroundings. “No more talking from this point forward. We’re close.”

  “I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.”

  Adrenaline pumped through Randi’s body, giving her a second wind while blowing off the top of her head. She needed some relief from the constant, debilitating pressure on her skull. Soon, she kept telling herself. Soon.

  When they finally reached the ledge overlooking the den, all the mind-paralyzing pain evaporated, making room for incredible excitement—and a bit of apprehension. Britt hadn’t been able to pick up the blood trail again, so they had no notion of what to expect at the den below.

  Randi held her breath as she peered through her binoculars. Everything around the den seemed unremarkable. Two of the pups stood inside the opening, their gazes intent on something to their left.

  Then a set of baleful cries and yip-barks reached her. She lowered her binoculars and noticed Britt had slid forward in order to get a better vantage point. “What’s going on?”

  “I’m not sure.” He scooted forward until his head and shoulders draped over the edge. “The wolves are pacing around something.” He advanced another six inches.

  Randi grasped his calf as if she could stop him from pouring over the side.

  “Sonofabitch.”

  “What? What do you see?”

  He eased back beside her. Granite etched his features. “One of the wolves is lying motionless near a boulder. I think it’s Mellow.”

  “Mellow?”

  “One of the juvenile pack members.”

  “Is he injured?”

  “If not for the way the pack is acting, I would have said he’s napping. It’s one of his favorite spots.” He stowed away his binoculars. “I’ve got to go down there.”

  Fear crammed into her throat. “What about the others? Will they try to protect Mellow from you?”

  “Not likely. Red wolves have a strong fear of humans. They’ll disperse the moment they see me.”

  “Then I’m going with you.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why not? If it’s safe for you, it should be safe for me.”

  “I’m not sure how the injured wolf will react. I’d rather not have to worry about you getting attacked.”

  “No need to worry about me. I’ll be standing behind you.”

  He stared at her a moment, then shook his head. With a resigned air of defeat, he asked, “Will you at least do what I say, when I say?”

  “Of course. I’m not stupid, you know.” She grinned and was pleased to see his return smile.

  “Come on, Shepherd. I have a feeling this is going to be unpleasant.”

  All amusement fled at the thought of Mellow’s suffering. Finding a natural ladder of limestone slabs and earth mounds, they made their way down to the creek bed. With precise movements, they inched toward Mellow’s location.

  The breeding male noticed their approach first and alerted the others. The juveniles scattered and the pups ran to the safety of the den. The breeding female paused halfway between the den and Mellow. Apollo eyed them until they were within fifty feet before deciding it was time for him to back away.

  Poor Mellow didn’t stir at all.

  When they were a few feet from the motionless wolf, Britt held up a hand to Randi. A silent demand for her to stay behind. From this distance, she couldn’t tell if Mellow was breathing or not. She sent up a rusty prayer, hoping they made it in time to save the sweet fella.

  Britt knelt down near the wolf’s rear end, visually examining the canid from head to toe. With the boulder in the way, he couldn’t approach the wolf from behind. He would have to assess the situation from a safe distance before moving into biting distance.

  When the wolf didn’t lash out, he inched closer, speaking to the animal in low tones. Still nothing. Randi moved to the side until she could see Britt’s expression. Still too far away from the wolf to see any small rise in his torso, she would have to depend on Britt’s reaction for news.

  He reached out a careful hand to rub the tips of his fingers through the wolf’s red-blond fur. Not even a twitch.

  Sadness spiked in her chest, filling her throat. She glanced at the other wolves, who were pacing a distance away, eyeing them with wary suspicion.

  Britt monkey-walked until he crouched beside Mellow. He set a hand below the wolf’s armpit, a pulse point. A moment later, he closed his eyes, his chin dropping to his chest.

  Randi’s hand shook as it came up to cover her mouth. “Is he—?” She couldn’t finish the sentence.

  Brushing his hand over Mellow’s side, he said, “Yes.” His palm came away covered in blood. “Shot.”

  “Oh, Britt.” She shuffled forward and grasped his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” She took in Mellow’s buff coat with red splashed behind his tall, pointed ears and wondered how anyone could end such a beautiful life. “What do you suppose happened? Could a hunter have mistaken him for a coyote?”

  “Any responsible hunter can distinguish a coyote from a red wolf. There’s a good thirty- to forty-pound difference in their sizes, and their coloring and features are distinct.” Britt drew a hanky from his back pocket to wipe the blood from his hand. “Though that doesn’t stop some hunters, and more often livestock owners, from claiming they can’t tell the difference so they can harvest or remove a wolf.”

  Randi remembered what she’d wanted to tell Britt. “Right before the cub and mother bear arrived, I got this eerie sensation of being watched. When I searched the bluff above me, I caught a glimpse of movement, a splash of color that didn’t belong. Orange, I think. At the time, I thought my imagination was wreaking havoc on my senses, but now I’m not so sure.”

  “Can you recall anything at all about the figure? Man? Woman? Animal?”

  “No, I’m sorry. The image was so fleeting and the fog was so thick. Even now, I worry that it was a branch blowing in the breeze or a trick of the fog. I could be making way too much out of it.” She revisited that moment in her mind’s eye, recalled the way the hairs along her neck and spine unfolded like the wings of an eaglet before its first flight. “It’s probably nothing, though something on that cliff put my instincts on high stalker alert.”

  “Then I’m sure it wasn’t a branch or something the fog conjured.”

  An unnamed emotion gripped the back of her throat. His matter-of-fact statement hinted at a level
of trust that surprised her. How could he have that kind of faith in her when she doubted herself? It was a humbling moment.

  “What do we do now?

  “I’m in uncharted territory,” Britt admitted. “My gut urges me to remove Mellow from this area. A dead member this close to the den could cause the pack unnecessary stress and force them to relocate.”

  “Where should we take him?”

  “I’ll carry him into the woods and look for an abandoned burrow or hollowed-out downed tree.”

  “He must be seventy pounds. How are you going to lift, then carry, that amount of dead weight with a broken rib?”

  “I’ll figure it out.” He peered down at Mellow’s lifeless body. “I can’t leave him here.”

  The pain would be excruciating. No way would her conscience allow her to stand by and watch him struggle with the wolf’s corpse. “I’ll do it.”

  “Do what?”

  “Carry Mellow to his resting place.”

  His assessing gaze raked over her.

  “If I can unload cases of booze, I can manage this.”

  “You might be carrying him for several hundred feet.”

  “If need be, I’ll pause to rest.”

  A battle waged inside him. She could see the conflict playing across his features. He was used to handling things, taking charge. Depending on someone else was not part of his repertoire.

  For him to be considering her offer meant he was hurt worse than he’d let on. Randi doubted a little discomfort would stop him from taking care of Mellow. But knee-buckling pain might be more than even a tough guy was willing to risk.

  “What about your head injury?”

  “I still have a headache, but the dizziness has passed.”

  The muscle in his jaw flexed. It was as though any words of agreement were stuck in his throat. Randi took pity on him and knelt down, assessing the best way to lift the wolf in her arms.

  Britt crouched on the opposite side. “I don’t like this.”

  “I know.” She caught his gaze. “Let me do this for you. For the pack.”

  Restless, agitated sounds from the pack reached them.

  He pulled in a deep breath and winced. “I’m going to help you lift him.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” He rubbed the backs of his fingers under his chin. “Once he’s in your arms, I’ll support either his front end or back end, whichever will help more.”

  Randi nodded. It was a good compromise, and she would likely welcome the help after fifty yards or so.

  Working together, they managed to settle Mellow in her arms. The process wasn’t much different than picking up an oversized sedated dog. Britt took the wolf’s hind end, which helped balance the weight.

  They walked a great distance into the woods before finding a large uprooted tree. By the looks of it, the maple had tipped over many years ago. Probably the same year this part of North Carolina had experienced record rainfalls. When the soggy ground could no longer support the top-heavy tree, the whole thing had upended, taking a half ton of dirt with its root system.

  The deep indentation left behind would make a nice burial site for Mellow. With a bit of maneuvering, they laid him down, then covered him with foliage and rocks. They stood silent at the edge of the burial site for several seconds. Randi slid her hand into Britt’s, needing the connection and hoping to erase the disturbing set to his features.

  When his fingers didn’t curl around hers, she studied his profile. “What are you thinking?”

  “I can’t figure out how they found them.”

  “They, who?”

  “Whoever it was that hunted down my wolves and murdered one.”

  “You think someone trespassed to hunt the wolves?”

  “I can’t come up with any other reason why someone would risk the Steele family wrath.” He was silent a moment. “Only a handful of people know about the Steele-Shepherd pack.”

  Disbelief pushed against Randi’s heart. Every muscle stilled. The closeness she’d experienced while working with him to care for Mellow’s body vanished in a cloud of hurt and disappointment. She removed her hand from his slack grip. “I didn’t share your secret.”

  “The pack has lived here unharmed since their discovery over a year ago.” He turned cold eyes on her. “You think it’s a coincidence that the day after I revealed the den’s location to an outsider one of the wolves wound up dead?”

  Outsider.

  “Coincidence or not, I told no one about the wolves.”

  “Not even the slick attorney for the Carolina Club?”

  “Especially not Keith Gaviston.”

  “What reason did you give him for not selling to the club?”

  A volatile mix of fury, suspicion, pain, and guilt roiled in his dark eyes. Randi did her best to focus on the pain and guilt. Britt and her mother had assumed the huge responsibility of watching over the pack. So much so that Britt had been willing to take his personal finances to the brink of collapse to protect the wolves.

  While his accusation sliced down the center of her heart, she tried her damnedest to consider it was his guilt lashing out, his belief that he’d failed to protect the pack. She wanted to believe that when he no longer had the grime of death and loss on his hands he would realize that she would never break such a precious confidence. She wanted to believe that in the calm of the aftermath he would trust her.

  The logical side of her mind kicked in. Could she really expect so much from someone with whom she’d grown close in only a week? Couples could spend a lifetime together and be shocked by a secret or an unforgivable action. A week meant nothing.

  A heavy weight lowered on her chest, making it difficult to speak.

  “I told Gaviston that the club’s and my goals for the property didn’t line up.”

  “And he just packed up and left. No attempts at persuasion?”

  “Of course he tried. He would be a lousy attorney if he hadn’t.”

  “Might you have told him about the wolves to make him back off?”

  “I didn’t need to,” she said between clenched teeth. “I have worked in a bar for most of my adult life. Some have been full of randy, aggressive boy-men. Some full of successful, charm-you-out-of-your-underwear gentlemen. I’ve had many good-looking guys try to persuade me into their beds, dinner, weekend getaway, or simply to hand over my number. But those surface elements don’t tempt me. They never have.”

  When his hard stare remained intact, the last of Randi’s hope fled on an uneven heartbeat. “Britt, I can see that you don’t believe me. And I can’t think of anything else to say that will change your mind.” She turned away. “Make sure you see a doctor when you’re done here.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Home.”

  “Give me a minute and I’ll walk you out.”

  “No need.” She kept moving, not daring to turn back. “I’ll find my way out.”

  “How will you get home?”

  She pulled her phone from her back pocket, amazed it hadn’t shattered into a million pieces on her mad flight down the mountain. Waving it in the air, she said, “I’ll call someone to pick me up.”

  “Like hell you will.”

  Randi angled around him, refusing to touch him or even brush against him. As mad as she was, she might break another one of his ribs. Damned man. She’d been honest and where had it gotten her? He didn’t even believe her.

  “Randi,” he said, “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

  “No, you’re not.” She whirled around to face him. “You’ve all but called me a liar. I c-can’t”—she pulled in a choking breath—“be with you right now.”

  “At least let me take you home.” He stepped closer, gentling his voice. “Please.”

  Against her will, her body responded to the tender concern in that one little word. The fight went out of her, and she nodded.

  Without another word, he guided her out of the woods and drove her home. He rolled to
a stop outside her bungalow. Neither of them moved. Neither spoke. They both understood that the moment she stepped out of his truck would be the end of their short-lived relationship. Sadness clutched her throat and wouldn’t let go.

  She grabbed the shoulder strap of her rucksack, preparing to leave. “I’m deeply sorry about Mellow. But I promise you, I didn’t reveal your secret. I could never have done that to them—or you.”

  The walk to her front porch seemed to take hours. The closer she got, the blurrier the red door panels got. By sheer force of will, she waited until the door closed behind her before she let the tough girl act fall away.

  How had she allowed herself to get so wrapped up into Britt Steele in such a short amount of time? It defied logic. Defied the evolution of every other relationship she’d ever had. Everything about him appealed to one sense or another. His quiet watchfulness, his understated humor, his friendship with her mom, his care of the wolves, his love of his family. He did nothing by half measure. When he committed to something or someone, he poured everything into the connection.

  Pushing away from the door, she moved to the front window, expecting to see an empty road. But Britt’s truck still idled at the curbside as if he was afraid to cut the final thread holding them together. The sight made mincemeat of her knees. She grasped the back of an armchair to steady herself.

  Should she go to him and try to talk some sense into his thick Steele skull? Or did he need time to process everything that had happened? Would she come out on the winning side? Would he realize she could never betray his trust?

  Questions soared through her mind with blinding speed, making her dizzy. “To hell with this.” If she didn’t try to make him see reason one more time, she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. Or tomorrow night. Or the next night. She marched to the door and threw it open only to watch Old Blue ease away from the curb.